Come Strut Your Stuff @ Egg Cafe, August 09

Ok, so when you leave your gym session early to get to Egg for 7.30pm to get a slot, surely that’s enough time right? Not anymore it seems.

On arrival, I struggle to get a seat. Fortunately Ron had one by him which was also were the host, Tony Kehoe was stood nearby. However upstairs was full and well there’s no point sitting there or behind the divide downstairs if you have any intention of hearing, let along watching any of the performances.

So having got over the 1^st hurdle, I stumble on another; Tony politely informs me that all slots were filled 25 minutes earlier than my arrival. The popularity of this night means that to ensure you want a slot you need to be @ Egg @ least an hour before.Hmmm… any excuse to not go the Gym again.

Sitting at a table with Ron and the lads from Leas Park, chatting away before the night officially begins, our conversation is broken by Stan, and boy he had a right gripe on. Lads on the other table were tuning/strumming their guitars in and Stan plainly bollocked ‘em. Stan was miffed out the fact they were practising whilst he was playing. This highlights the fact that Stan is not merely playing background music. Stan later re-iterated this during the 1^st half of the night.

Right then…let’s begin.

Key: (P) Poet, (M) Music

1^st Set

The Accord Perdus (M) opened the night.

1 ?. Didn’t catch the title or most of the words., sorry :-(

2 ?. In fact I don’t think they announce titles. This pair are entertaining, although there music doesn’t strike me as particularly different or new.

? (P) Forgive me; I didn’t catch the ladies name.

1. Cinderella, Cinderella. An a cappela about the perfect image aimed at young girls to be perfect from fairy tales and beyond. It was evident that she was nervous performing, but it was quite cute in combination with her pretty almost cherub features, which was emphasised more with her line “we should learn to give thanks to what we’ve got”

2. ?. Didn’t catch the title, but as my notes state ‘good tho”

Tony Kehoe (M)

1. “You never know what you want as long as you don’t care” Chorus “We’re only flesh and blood.”

2. “Hey disbeliever…”

There’s not much to say on these, I have already reviewed these songs/performances from Tony before. Tony runs a raffle each month and the winner receives a copy of Tony’s current album, suffice to say, Tony’s been plugging album at Egg and good on for him self-promotion.

Gray (M)

Once again we’re graced by Gray’s dramatic and well executed performances. Some people just don’t know how to take his grit, but then these are the people who still think Doyleys and wet look leggings are cool.

1. Pretty Peaches. “Slide Slide down that hole/pole”? I couldn’t make out if it was ‘hole’ or ‘pole’, or both, given that I concluded this song was about a pole dancer. I loved the line “keen keen Jelly Bean, on a life support machine.” Vibrator perhaps? Now I’m thinking of Dresden dolls, or maybe I misheard the line.

2. Socialite bitches. Lyrically very funny but the musical structure became a little repetitive.

Never the less, I really enjoy watching Gray perform.

Cath (P)

1. Drink, drugs, sex, brutality. Syntactic parallelism is employed by Cath once more, with staccato emphasis on words such as “violent” and “spat.

2. ?. This formed a rant reflecting on the experience of the educational system from the ages of 12yrs to 19yrs. Her delivery was similar to that of Allen Ginsberg. The poem was quite lengthy and well written, however the reference to Descartes “I own…therefore I am.” May have been a little tongue in cheek, but personally bored because it’s seems every poetry reading at Egg features a Descartes reference. Or maybe I should read more philosophy to spot some other references.

Lilly Kehoe.

1. Valerie. Same great performance as last time.

Mike Denny. (P)

1. ? It was so short I didn’t catch it.

2. Infatuation with the older generation.

3. ?. About a girl who only stays as a friend, despite observing her curves.

Mike’s poems were v. short, which was a refreshing change to most poets at these events. My belief is that if you can’t fit the idea on 1 side of A4, then you’re gonna bore people. However Mike’s poems were so short, I for one felt a little cheated, we wanted more.

Tony Kehoe (M)

1. Alaska.

Delta Blues Tips. (M) I didn’t write anything down. Hell knows what I was doing. Oops.

2^nd Set.

Joe Kelly. (M)

1.?. Song was very bluesy. That a word? Hmmm…is now.

Ron (P)

1. Sea Creature. About a mermaid. Ron employed an audience member to sit in front of everyone and play with her tresses whilst Ron delivered his ode.

2. Bradford Polar Bears. Due to Global Warming and the Ice Caps melting a family of Polar bears have migrated to Bradford with the mother bear becoming a shelf stacker in Iceland. Said Polar bear is acted out by me wearing a white bear mask and white forensic style overalls, which added to the environmental surrealism of the poem.

Bombshell. (P)

1. ?. Didn’t catch it as I was getting change.

2. Pirate poem. This poem requires audience participation based around the line “I’m considerably more pirate than you.”

John Leicester. (P)

1. ?. About unrequited love.

Man Eats Plane (M)

1. ?. New member to this group, playing the xylophone, which added a very playful element to the performance. However I felt that there was too much interaction between the instruments. I think that if the xylophone departed from the composition at times and vice versa with the guitars, ukulele, it would give the piece more depth and texture. The continuous layers and lack of departure began to make the piece feel repetitive.

2. ?. The group took too long tuning in, which is never good for an audience. Never the less, the cover of “I can’t help falling in love with you” went down well. Despite sometimes going out of tune the gritty-ness of occasional discord made the song more believable and essentially more romantic. These guys will go from strength to strength, pardon the cliché.

Dave Hartley. (P)

1. ?. About the programme ‘Ladette to Lady’.

2. Get with life. Performed to the same style as his “OMG the ftse’s down” recession inspired poem.

3. The adventures of Matthew St. Another Ronsil jobbie.

3^rd Set.

Carly (P/M?) Yeah that’s me and yeah, I think I scared people. Maybe I’m out of my depth with this crowd?Thanks to Tony Kehoe who gave me the slot after a chap had dropped out, thanks Tony.

1. Black Cloud. Recitative poem.

2. As the Elephant moves west. An a cappella surrealist poem. Tony Kehoe thought I finished after my poem, but I only wanted a sip of tea, Hey if you get slot, use all of it.

Leas Park (M) Three guys from the table I was sat.

1. The audience were unbelievably quiet, did I scare the f**k out of people? The singer Ty played guitar for this and seemed a little unconfident as his friend held a lyric sheet up for him to read.

2. Another cover, but this time Ty sang while his friend played guitar. This time round Ty was a lot more confident and this performance sounded much better. Good effort.

Leoni (P), talk about a doppelganger for famed Liverpudlian ‘Sonia’

1. Chat? B 1 26. Couldn’t really make out the title. Sonia explained she was firm believer in making poverty history as did her friend who wrote the poem but couldn’t be there to perform it.

Asha (M)

1. Hallelujah. An a cappella from tiny Asha was amazing. It was like looking a dinky Leona Lewis but with some spunk. On applause Asha raised her hands in glory and even gave a hive five to the teenagers on her table. Such a cool kid.

John Lloyd (M)

1. ? A cover, I think, not sure what of though.

2. ? Cover or not, it was more upbeat than the previous track.

Dave (P)

1. Mr Somebody Soon. Nicely structured like that of a play,Sc1. Sc2. Sc3. Sc4. Sc5. with my fave line - “who is she who breathes transparent fires?” Excellent.

Alexis (M)

1. Good morning Heartache. Very smooth, very soulful, I felt I should have been sipping some red wine (despite my recent abstinence) sat on a wooden porch in the heat of summer listening to this song.

Tommy (M)

1. ?. On the guitar and harmonica his track reminded me a little of the House Martins @ the start with wafts of Albarn coming through in his voice. Little Asha was mimicking playing the harmonica. Good fun.

??? (P) and then some more ????

1. This ‘poet’ informed us that his girlfriend persuaded him to do this (we’re you set up?) despite still being hung-over. It was excruciatingly bizarre if not embarrassing. It was some sort of mock conversation although it was too quiet to hear. It reminded me a little of Rob Brydon…on meths…slow with no punch. The audience were clearly confused and the ‘phone’ scene, well one audience member even openly said he thought he was just on the phone to someone, not pretending as part of his piece. It smacked a little of open air therapy. His girlfriend clearly needs a slap.

Liam (P)

1. Bicycle. Liam screamed Bicycle say six times before going a comical explosion about a dog. Liam is a true performance poet.

? (P)

1. ?. Shame I didn’t catch this poets name or the poem’s title as it was quite humorous regarding acting like a tree for this first time in his life. A German tree in fact, and a German car, in a German car crash, etc etc. It’s a shame this chap was on the reserve list at it would have been better for him to have a full crowd.

Fin.

Come Strutt your stuff @ Egg Cafe July 09

Hi this is a new add and yes, it's over a month due, but I've been so busy, it's hard to write everything even this blog. But please read below what I started in July and have now just completed.

Ooopsie..hehehe.

N.B Key : (M) Music, (P) Poetry, (ST) Story Telling, (R) Rap (?) Didn't hear name or title.

Ok, so it's been 4 months since I last went Egg and I'm thinking how hard is it to to go once a month? Well... that's irrelevant. Since then the night has become even more popular with the set list being filled by 7.30, half an hour before it's due to start. Such a far cry from September 08 when I first attended the night.

1st Set – Hosted by Graham

Jake De Cassi. (M). True to form, Jake likes to open the night with his 'Phoebe-esque' compositions.

1.'Falling asleep' an 'off the cuff' performance (would you expect anything less from Jake?). I quote “I want peace, I want love, I want anarachy... I want..." A supersize big mac meal? Oh wait, you're in egg right?

Jake didn't extend his set with a second song, maybe he wasn't feeling it. Or just was desperate to get back on his electric cigarette. Now that's a song title Jake could play with.

Wes. (P) Wes advertised his participation in Antony Gormley's ONE AND OTHER, Fourth Plinth Commission, Trafalgar Square, London.If any one had any suggestions for lines that Wes could use on the plinth, then he would consider putting them into his piece, but that they would be anonymous. Hmm for someone who has a lot to say, it sounded a little suss. I’m such a pessimist. Anyway…back to the poetry

1. Kitchen Sink. It’s evident Wes is proud to be from Liverpool as he blends slang and reference points with his own idioms and scouse syncopation. The line “an onion that drips from the ceiling” is a perfect example of this poems' Liverpool Centric Surrealism.

2 Macaroni. “What do I write about when I’m bored?...” Wes linked this to the 1^st poem, which was neat.

3. ?. Quite a miserable poem about wife beating. Nuff said really.

4. The time is now. “Can everyone please stop…” Wes used a rap style.

5. Internet dating. A bit like Ronsil but Wes delivered fast wit, used plenty of assonance and consonance and pleased the crowd. Kudos.

Chris & John. (M). Two new comers to Egg.

1. ?. Song was only written today, which is impressive in the sense that they are confident, However…” this is my song for you, I don’t know what to do…” was lyrically weak, despite the easy pleasing folksy style.

2. Cover. “Tonight your mine…you give your love so sweetly.”

These kinds of performance open up debate on rehearsal over extemporaneous spirit. I bend to the latter but there is definitely something to be said for rehearsal.

Liam. (P). Liam is a fantastic performance poet. His delivery and wit does hint at some acting experience, but nevertheless great to watch.
1. ?. Cluedo style detective poem with a gospel funeral element. “The man in the lipstick…untied his bonds with mortality”2. ?. (A serious one this…) “A man on the telephone..” forms the syntactic parallelism of the poem describing a train journey and its crying passengers. “It was almost Christmas…August 31^st.” “Mirac” “Shut your face and show us yer tits.”

Jake Times Broom. (M) Duo.

1. The lyric delivery of this track confused me as to whether this song was for against religion at the beginning of the performance, although I came to conclude it was ‘for’. Hmmm. Well it’s not my shot of Jager, but they’re cup of milky tea. Anyway…the delivery of the lyrics…plenty of influences running through the piece. It was little bit Emo, it was the scouse streets, water downed paper roach and a little Linkin Park. Which given the boho crowd and despite my reservation to their song, was quite refreshing.

2. ?. The ‘rapper’ goaded the crowd into clapping, before breaking into song. Of the two performers I felt the guitarist was the strongest. His playing was very good and enjoyed the ‘summery’ riff he played. Appropriate for July.

The Accords Perdus. (M) Acoustic Duo. Female singer, male guitarist.
1. ?. Song was lively and the singer even made monkey sounds which I found cute and entertaining. As it seemed to satisfy her inner child, it did mine - I even doodled a smiley in my book. “who has the time to please” was a key lyric, and indeed Accords Perdus have the time to please their audience.

2. ?. “In the back of the bus with your electric cigarette...if you saw the sign, I saw the light. I saw the light.” Good song and also made reference to Jake De Cassi’s ‘lecky’ fag. V. impressed with this duo. I look forward to watching them again.

2^nd Set – Guest Host – Tom George

Tom George. (P)

1. You make me walk lightly. Accapella. Great poem, good delivery, a romantic at heart but given Tom’s nature as person, he’s certainly no fool.

Joe Kelly. (M) Vocals, Guitar and Harmonica.

1. “The stars in the sky, they remind me of your eyes…they are listening like never before…” what to your romantic drivel? Sorry but Love songs are – BLEURGHHHHHHHH! Ok now, I’ll stop being childish.

2. ?. Song about a girl. So I figure Joe’s in love, or maybe he’s not a football fan.

Gavin. (P)

1. Moon(?) mystery. Talking about the US moon landing.

2. The Highway man. Differing versions of outlaws and what they would steal; “the randy highway man, the brandy highway man…”

3. I think therefore I am. “I drink therefore I am…” a twist on the philosophical debate of knowing, my now overtly clichéd. Oh well.

Tony Kehoe. (M) Guitar and vocals.

1. What remains of your culture now little boy blue? “you don’t have to win to succeed”.

2. ?. “…save the best to last, don’t be a fool, its only paper wings you’re flying on…” chorus has a nice allusion to Greek mythology. The tune is much like a lullaby. It seems the narrator in these lyrics has had his heart broken and is requesting their heartbreaker to look back on what they had.

Tom George. (P)

1. Clubland. Another bit of social anthropology condensing the back stories and identities’ of those who become transformed by the night and neon lighting, played out in the lines such as “check out girl barbaretta”, “mothercare Mandy refuses to swallow” and “lucozade light”.

Lilly Kehoe. (M), Vocals.

1. Cover of Valerie (The Zutons.) Little Lily Kehoe can warble – a new Aguilera in our midst perhaps? Again I cannot stress enough how much the egg needs a mini amp and mic. Lilly and other peoples talent are wasted because of the proxemics of the café, a little assistance in the audio department would do these performers justice.

2. Springtime. (P)

Joseph. (P) (M) Guitar & Vocals.

1. Wires. About being stoned. Quite funny. “You’re no better than me, you limping mollusc.” “not all of us men are keen to confess our mortal sins. Some…heart on sleeves, I shall wear a vest…its too hot anyway.” “Bends of reality.”

2. ?. Song. Joseph warns the audience, some of his lyrics are unsure. Tony Kehoe on Harmonica. “Steak place… I wanna stay here, I don’t wanna go anywhere.”

Fred. (M)

1. ?. Sounds a bit Dylan. Does anyone not want to sound like Dylan? Or is that a stupid rhetorical question?

2. ?. “Each new day is a gift…as the emotions shift…”. He f**ked up…but he’s honest…humble…show some humility. (F**k knows what I meant by that, but that’s what’s in my notes, oh well.)

3^rd Set.

Jim “Grandad” – as he called him self. I hinted a Glaswegian accent, definitely from the region and his poems were provocative.

1. The Terrorist. Jim explained we needed perspective and so wrote this1st person poem of a suicide bomber. “Youth coursing through my veins…this is also my last day…as I walk alone into Basra.”

2. Crosby Sand.

3. ?, I couldn’t hear title nor poem. L

Graham – I’m so glad to see this performer again, he’s shit-hot!

1. Lady Gaga tribute song ‘Love Game.’ Most definitely the best cover ever, even though I hate Gaga’s songs (which is a shame because she’s actually a talented musician but hey ho, shit sells.) “Disco Stick…Love Gaymeh!”

2. Veronica Poser. Song about the fans of a beautiful boy @ a bar, and said guy is “rolling in it like a pig in shit.” “Pretentious Indie Crowd…on one’s gonna love..” “nailed to a crucifix of cool…hot dog/doll”

As a performer Graham really appeals to me. So ENERGETIC! His lyrics are caustic, contemporary and witty and he hates the same things as I do such as scarf wearing scene chasing indie dickheads.

Tom Goole (ST)

1. 3X3 = 9, Story of magic. Tom told a tale about a blind fortune teller in Korea he could see demons and magic. All that was missing a starry night and a log fire to transport us to Seoul.

Vinny (M) Guitar and Vocals.

1. ?...has a Spanish flavour to it. “astah para___” “feet of clay…as you’re leaving.” “caught by friendly fire they say…did your friends stand and watch you fall?”

2. One night. About one night stands. He asked his friend what the 1^st line of the song was…he must have had too much ouzo from the one night stand. The line’s were a little clichéd “we hardly spoke a word… the day after…she should leave so hurriedly…she wasn’t into me so much…case of de ja vu…string of one night stands.” Tried meeting girls in day light? Just a suggestion.

Man Eats Plane. (M) 2 x Guitar, 1 x Ukulele, 1 x Vocals

1. Only for the fact the giant ears on a girl would prove a health and safety hazard, I’d let them grow to catch every single sound this ensemble made. I was truly impressed by their performance. The group really gelled. The riff’s and timing from the guitars and ukulele were excellent and the vocalist has good range and a deep warble, an influence that matched the hair do perhaps? The chorus or part “I don’t mind….” Is still ringing in my head. Kudos.

2. ?. Again no title, but heck who cares when it sounds this good. It had a slightly ethereal sound to it, and made me think the singer is the male version of Beth Gibbons of Portishead, whilst hints of Radiohead came through from the ensemble. These chaps are fan–fooking-tastic. Great sound, good looking, these guys could go far.

Rob (R)

1. ?. A scouse/yank style rap. Twas v brief.

Fin.