Come Strut Your Stuff @ Egg Cafe, August 09

Ok, so when you leave your gym session early to get to Egg for 7.30pm to get a slot, surely that’s enough time right? Not anymore it seems.

On arrival, I struggle to get a seat. Fortunately Ron had one by him which was also were the host, Tony Kehoe was stood nearby. However upstairs was full and well there’s no point sitting there or behind the divide downstairs if you have any intention of hearing, let along watching any of the performances.

So having got over the 1^st hurdle, I stumble on another; Tony politely informs me that all slots were filled 25 minutes earlier than my arrival. The popularity of this night means that to ensure you want a slot you need to be @ Egg @ least an hour before.Hmmm… any excuse to not go the Gym again.

Sitting at a table with Ron and the lads from Leas Park, chatting away before the night officially begins, our conversation is broken by Stan, and boy he had a right gripe on. Lads on the other table were tuning/strumming their guitars in and Stan plainly bollocked ‘em. Stan was miffed out the fact they were practising whilst he was playing. This highlights the fact that Stan is not merely playing background music. Stan later re-iterated this during the 1^st half of the night.

Right then…let’s begin.

Key: (P) Poet, (M) Music

1^st Set

The Accord Perdus (M) opened the night.

1 ?. Didn’t catch the title or most of the words., sorry :-(

2 ?. In fact I don’t think they announce titles. This pair are entertaining, although there music doesn’t strike me as particularly different or new.

? (P) Forgive me; I didn’t catch the ladies name.

1. Cinderella, Cinderella. An a cappela about the perfect image aimed at young girls to be perfect from fairy tales and beyond. It was evident that she was nervous performing, but it was quite cute in combination with her pretty almost cherub features, which was emphasised more with her line “we should learn to give thanks to what we’ve got”

2. ?. Didn’t catch the title, but as my notes state ‘good tho”

Tony Kehoe (M)

1. “You never know what you want as long as you don’t care” Chorus “We’re only flesh and blood.”

2. “Hey disbeliever…”

There’s not much to say on these, I have already reviewed these songs/performances from Tony before. Tony runs a raffle each month and the winner receives a copy of Tony’s current album, suffice to say, Tony’s been plugging album at Egg and good on for him self-promotion.

Gray (M)

Once again we’re graced by Gray’s dramatic and well executed performances. Some people just don’t know how to take his grit, but then these are the people who still think Doyleys and wet look leggings are cool.

1. Pretty Peaches. “Slide Slide down that hole/pole”? I couldn’t make out if it was ‘hole’ or ‘pole’, or both, given that I concluded this song was about a pole dancer. I loved the line “keen keen Jelly Bean, on a life support machine.” Vibrator perhaps? Now I’m thinking of Dresden dolls, or maybe I misheard the line.

2. Socialite bitches. Lyrically very funny but the musical structure became a little repetitive.

Never the less, I really enjoy watching Gray perform.

Cath (P)

1. Drink, drugs, sex, brutality. Syntactic parallelism is employed by Cath once more, with staccato emphasis on words such as “violent” and “spat.

2. ?. This formed a rant reflecting on the experience of the educational system from the ages of 12yrs to 19yrs. Her delivery was similar to that of Allen Ginsberg. The poem was quite lengthy and well written, however the reference to Descartes “I own…therefore I am.” May have been a little tongue in cheek, but personally bored because it’s seems every poetry reading at Egg features a Descartes reference. Or maybe I should read more philosophy to spot some other references.

Lilly Kehoe.

1. Valerie. Same great performance as last time.

Mike Denny. (P)

1. ? It was so short I didn’t catch it.

2. Infatuation with the older generation.

3. ?. About a girl who only stays as a friend, despite observing her curves.

Mike’s poems were v. short, which was a refreshing change to most poets at these events. My belief is that if you can’t fit the idea on 1 side of A4, then you’re gonna bore people. However Mike’s poems were so short, I for one felt a little cheated, we wanted more.

Tony Kehoe (M)

1. Alaska.

Delta Blues Tips. (M) I didn’t write anything down. Hell knows what I was doing. Oops.

2^nd Set.

Joe Kelly. (M)

1.?. Song was very bluesy. That a word? Hmmm…is now.

Ron (P)

1. Sea Creature. About a mermaid. Ron employed an audience member to sit in front of everyone and play with her tresses whilst Ron delivered his ode.

2. Bradford Polar Bears. Due to Global Warming and the Ice Caps melting a family of Polar bears have migrated to Bradford with the mother bear becoming a shelf stacker in Iceland. Said Polar bear is acted out by me wearing a white bear mask and white forensic style overalls, which added to the environmental surrealism of the poem.

Bombshell. (P)

1. ?. Didn’t catch it as I was getting change.

2. Pirate poem. This poem requires audience participation based around the line “I’m considerably more pirate than you.”

John Leicester. (P)

1. ?. About unrequited love.

Man Eats Plane (M)

1. ?. New member to this group, playing the xylophone, which added a very playful element to the performance. However I felt that there was too much interaction between the instruments. I think that if the xylophone departed from the composition at times and vice versa with the guitars, ukulele, it would give the piece more depth and texture. The continuous layers and lack of departure began to make the piece feel repetitive.

2. ?. The group took too long tuning in, which is never good for an audience. Never the less, the cover of “I can’t help falling in love with you” went down well. Despite sometimes going out of tune the gritty-ness of occasional discord made the song more believable and essentially more romantic. These guys will go from strength to strength, pardon the cliché.

Dave Hartley. (P)

1. ?. About the programme ‘Ladette to Lady’.

2. Get with life. Performed to the same style as his “OMG the ftse’s down” recession inspired poem.

3. The adventures of Matthew St. Another Ronsil jobbie.

3^rd Set.

Carly (P/M?) Yeah that’s me and yeah, I think I scared people. Maybe I’m out of my depth with this crowd?Thanks to Tony Kehoe who gave me the slot after a chap had dropped out, thanks Tony.

1. Black Cloud. Recitative poem.

2. As the Elephant moves west. An a cappella surrealist poem. Tony Kehoe thought I finished after my poem, but I only wanted a sip of tea, Hey if you get slot, use all of it.

Leas Park (M) Three guys from the table I was sat.

1. The audience were unbelievably quiet, did I scare the f**k out of people? The singer Ty played guitar for this and seemed a little unconfident as his friend held a lyric sheet up for him to read.

2. Another cover, but this time Ty sang while his friend played guitar. This time round Ty was a lot more confident and this performance sounded much better. Good effort.

Leoni (P), talk about a doppelganger for famed Liverpudlian ‘Sonia’

1. Chat? B 1 26. Couldn’t really make out the title. Sonia explained she was firm believer in making poverty history as did her friend who wrote the poem but couldn’t be there to perform it.

Asha (M)

1. Hallelujah. An a cappella from tiny Asha was amazing. It was like looking a dinky Leona Lewis but with some spunk. On applause Asha raised her hands in glory and even gave a hive five to the teenagers on her table. Such a cool kid.

John Lloyd (M)

1. ? A cover, I think, not sure what of though.

2. ? Cover or not, it was more upbeat than the previous track.

Dave (P)

1. Mr Somebody Soon. Nicely structured like that of a play,Sc1. Sc2. Sc3. Sc4. Sc5. with my fave line - “who is she who breathes transparent fires?” Excellent.

Alexis (M)

1. Good morning Heartache. Very smooth, very soulful, I felt I should have been sipping some red wine (despite my recent abstinence) sat on a wooden porch in the heat of summer listening to this song.

Tommy (M)

1. ?. On the guitar and harmonica his track reminded me a little of the House Martins @ the start with wafts of Albarn coming through in his voice. Little Asha was mimicking playing the harmonica. Good fun.

??? (P) and then some more ????

1. This ‘poet’ informed us that his girlfriend persuaded him to do this (we’re you set up?) despite still being hung-over. It was excruciatingly bizarre if not embarrassing. It was some sort of mock conversation although it was too quiet to hear. It reminded me a little of Rob Brydon…on meths…slow with no punch. The audience were clearly confused and the ‘phone’ scene, well one audience member even openly said he thought he was just on the phone to someone, not pretending as part of his piece. It smacked a little of open air therapy. His girlfriend clearly needs a slap.

Liam (P)

1. Bicycle. Liam screamed Bicycle say six times before going a comical explosion about a dog. Liam is a true performance poet.

? (P)

1. ?. Shame I didn’t catch this poets name or the poem’s title as it was quite humorous regarding acting like a tree for this first time in his life. A German tree in fact, and a German car, in a German car crash, etc etc. It’s a shame this chap was on the reserve list at it would have been better for him to have a full crowd.

Fin.